Some ages make you feel older than others - have you ever noticed that?
I've never had a huge issue with my age if I'm honest, but I get bursts of disappointment that I haven't done more in the years I've had. As I was about to turn 25 (remember when 25 felt ancient?) I couldn't believe I wasn't married with kids yet. Oh, and also living at home with my parents. That last one was actually pretty justified even if I had moved out twice before so right before my 25th birthday I moved out for the last time :)
I was totally fine with 30, probably because I had a house, was married, and was about to have my first baby. I made a lot of those 5 years between 25 and 30!
Now I'm creeping up on 40. I felt it as soon as I hit 36 and I was closer to 40 than 30. At 38, the only way to round my age now is to say 40, so it's practically like I'm 40 already and if you asked me how old I am I'd probably say "almost 40" instead of 38, that's how focused I am on this number. Okay. Obsessed. Just wait until you're about to turn 40 dude!
What's your point Lara?
I'm on the verge of a midlife crisis. Time to sell the mini van and buy the jeep I always wanted and ride around with the top AND the doors off!!
Instead of worrying about what I'm going to do in fits of feeling old, I'm deciding to spend the last years of my thirties focusing on me more. I'm not ignoring the kids or anything, but I'm trying to remember what it is I like about life and then I'm trying to focus on those things and create opportunities to enjoy them.
I've spent quite a lot of time in the last year trying out new self help techniques. I've seen an energy therapist and I've taken a course called Rebuilding Relationships (for work, but man am I learning a lot) which is more about the relationship with yourself than with anyone else and did some core belief engineering. Self is being worked on!
Time to be the change you want to see, or however that line goes, Lara!
I'm determined to have more experiences, and to do more things. I've got this idea that I'm still working on where I go on 40 trips before I turn 41... but I haven't quite figured out the logistics of that. I figure I can count Chicago and New York state so only 38 trips in the next 27 months to go (gotta step up my game!)
I'm looking for opportunities to go out more, and I want to start entertaining more. I want to cook again and have dinner parties again. I actually really like to make gnocchi and pasta from scratch - it's so delicious and I've done gnocchi once in the last 6 years and pasta not at all. I also like having board game nights with my friends and we do far too rarely.
I'm putting all of this out into the universe and I'm being proactive and doing stuff. It's going to be awesome. (Read: I'm pretty sure it's going to be awesome and I'm totally not going to wuss out on this.)