Hard days

by Lara on February 5, 2012

I love my kids. Beyond measure.

But there are days when:

- I feel like my kids are out to get me. They are horribly behaved for. It makes me feel like an awful mother, no matter how often people tell me it’s because they love me so much and are so excited to be with me and feel so comfortable with me.

- I feel judged by others and it’s hard to take.

- I feel I am too honest about how hard I find things. Leading to my previous point. I wonder if I need to lie, and if that’s what most others are actually doing.

- I want to cry because I thought I would rock at being a mom and I really don’t feel like I do.

Just to be clear, daily there are moments when:

- I hug and hold each one of them.

- Love watching how much all three of them enjoy each other’s company.

- Feel grateful to have three such lovely and charming children who are happy and healthy.

It’s just that it’s also hard.

14 comments
Capital Mom
Capital Mom

I think you can love being a mom and find it hard at the same time. To me parenting is so bittersweet. You have three kids. And twins. You get a gold star just for trying. We all do.

Rebecca S.
Rebecca S.

It's very hard! I'm pretty sure there is one moment, if only for a second, almost every day when I want to quit! Of course I wouldn't and I love my children dearly but they do excel at driving me crazy!

Sharon
Sharon

It IS hard. Anything worthwhile usually is. Writing about the hardness in an open and honest way, I feel, is helping other moms. There is a reason why housewives in the 50's survived on valium and I think part of it is due to this need to be perfect and nobody talked about the imperfection that is parenting.

Krista (@kristahouse)
Krista (@kristahouse)

It is hard. It is also hard watching other people who seem to be able to do it with grace while I'm falling all over the place. But the real truth is we all feel the same way.

Amy
Amy

It's so hard, and you're supposed to love every minute but nobody can. It's a lot of fun at times, but there's also constant demands, guilt, anger, frustration. It is so hard sometimes.

Sara
Sara

Calling parenting a job would mean there is a beginning and end point each day but there isn't...I don't even know what to call it except the hardest commitment you'll ever make because rarely is there time to breathe or even just 'be' Reading the blog post about not 'seizing the day' helped me a lot. That it's okay not to love every moment (even most of the moments). Just know you're not alone.

Kate
Kate

Parenting is the best and hardest thing I have ever done. That being said, I also wonder if I am failing because others always seem to have it under control. I find this to be true at work as well, when I am completely stressed by what is going on and others don't seem to have a care in the world. Then I remember that not everyone has the same standards. So when I feel that I am failing, I try to remind myself that perfection is not a reasonable objective. Doesn't always work, but it helps.

Rebecca
Rebecca

there is nothing greater - in reward or responsibility or difficulty or joy You are an awesome mom, and all of us are just trying to do our best in our own ways. One day at a time is all I can do :)

Lynn
Lynn

Me too, I totally get it. I will say though, I am noticing that there are fewer of those days as my kids get older. I think I'm entering the golden years when my kids are all toilet trained and able to get their own snacks, yet not sneering at me with derision every time I open my mouth. So...it does get better!

Alicia
Alicia

Do I ever know those days...had a full week of them last week.

Karen
Karen

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I think it's become that way because we put so much pressure on ourselves based on how we think we're expected to be. Does that make any sense? I wish I could magically stop caring about what other people think of my choices. Maybe one day I'll get there. Until then, I'll probably keep most things to myself. Are you a bad mom? Not at all. Your kids have an awesome woman to call mom. Every kid should be so lucky.

Kari
Kari

I only think I'm being judged by people without children. Every girlfriend I know with children has either been in the horrifying situation I'm describing to them, or knows their day is coming. Like you, I love my kids and I'm disappointed everytime I yell or cry...but it seems we're not alone (and I suspect my mother was just better at doing it behind closed doors?). Hugs!

Chantal
Chantal

Parenting is hard and I find it hard. And I admit that I don't blog about the hard as much as I used to. But only because I don't blog much anymore. I agree your honesty is you and don't change that. I hope no one is actually judging you. Because you don't deserve that. Wanna hear my stellar moment last week. Picking up m at beavers. He doesn't want to leave. The baby and him start racing around the gym in opposite directions. I try to convince both nicely (repeatedly) that it is time to go. They ignore. I end up growling, baby under my arm and pulling 6th by the shirt. All infront if the beaver dads. I was mortified and furious. :)

Alison
Alison

It is hard and you are a good mother. Your honesty is part of who you are, don't change that. There are days when I totally feel that my kids are deliberating pushing my button too. I think it's part of being with them so much. Don't let anyone make you feel judged, the only people that matter are the ones that hug and cuddle with you. Carry on solider!

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