Eric and I try, we do, but we are told loud and clear on a daily basis many of our parenting tactics are AWFUL. ATROCIOUS! DEFINITELY worth total meltdowns about.
Example #1
Juliette wanted a banana.
Mommy mistakenly thinks Juliette couldn’t start peeling the banana so opened the top, making certain not to peel the entire thing because she would likely want to peel it herself.
Juliette freaks out because she wanted to peel the banana. Throws the banana to the ground. Insists a new banana be procured immediately. This banana is ruined.
Mommy eats the banana.
Juliette LOSES HER MIND because Mommy ate HER banana.
Mommy gives in and gets Juliette a new banana and hands it to her.
Juliette hands the banana back two minutes later and asks Mommy to help – she can’t get the banana started on her own.
Example #2
We have ridiculous rules about furniture.
Quinn, please don’t lie sideways across your chair and Juliette’s chair during dinner, you have to sit.
Quinn, please don’t stand on one foot on the top of your footboard leaning into your dresser to get PJs from the top drawer.
Quinn, don’t lean over the edge of that head first… remember when you fell in the lake in April!?
Response: screech, flail, howl and bemoan terrible parents he was shackled with.
Example 3:
Kiernan has become of fan of the Wii – specifically Super Mario Galaxy.
Some days, he’s only allowed to play one level. It took him 50 attempts to get one level, but then we made him stop when it was past his bedtime and he only got to play that and a little bit of iPad and watch tv for a bit that day.
WE SUCK!!
Have I mentioned it’s a good thing they’re so cute? 
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
you guys are horrible parents, I’m glad you’re not my parents
Lara, we’ve had the EXACT same banana fight. EXACT same. The only different was I didn’t eat it.
Also, I’ve made the mistake of giving her a piece of banana rather than whole thing still partly in peel – ever try to unpeel/replace a piece of banana?
good times
I don’t usually like bananas but this one time I ate it. MEAN MEAN MEAN
We regularly have the same banana fight. Or the apple fight – sliced vs whole. And if you don’t answer me after asking you 2 or 3 times how you’d like, I bite into your apple and assume you just don’t want it. Juliette response, with a Jaime twist, occurs. ;o) I’m a terrible parent too! We should start a club!
Your poor, poor children. Think of the therapy bills to come.
My New Year’s resolution was to stop yelling. I’d blog about how things are going so far, but I’d have to write the post in ALL CAPS. Sigh. I’ve learned that I can speak/make the same request 3-5 times without yelling. Then all hell breaks loose and the Little Man puts his hands over his ears and BEGS me to stop hurting his head. Oy vey.
Example 1 is my fav. This is funny because my child is not yet born.
I’m sure I will be a horrible parent soon enough as well! 
I make my kids eat food other than chocolate at every single meal. Can I join your club??
Count me in on this club. I cut food the wrong way, make him go to daycare where he has FUN, got him a bike that has NO PEDALS and numerous other crimes. Where are the parent police when you need them?
I thought I was the worst mom ever… : ) (I am.
When I was little, I remember taping a big piece of paper (with a message on it) to a ruler and marching in the living room. The message read “I HATE My MOTHER.” I was on strike. Such a lovely child.
When I was a kid I threatened to run away so I went and made a hobo stick with all my stuff
There photos.
Lar, that banana story cracked me up! Mostly because we’ve been through this EXACT scenario so many times (they truly do loose their minds) and thankfully we’re not the only ones living with crazy little people
We have a huge club just from the people who responded to this post
This is nothing – yesterday? I made Maggie get dressed.
hahahaha
ROTFL! Thanks for the laugh! I needed it today. Sounds a lot like my house.
It’s the chicken fingers that get me every time. Sometimes they need to be cut, othertimes they must be left whole. It is very hard to recreate a whole chicken finger.
The cuteness does help, a lot!
They are made cute for very good reason, and I tell that to mine almost every day.
Honestly, they should start turning into more reasonable human beings any day now…